tonight

...yup, that about sums it up

I hope this one wins me a man-card.

Just a forewarning: This may be a very obnoxious post to some. To others of the ADHD sort, it may be one of the most fun interactive posts you will ever experience.
The point of this post is to treat it as an obnoxious child would treat their obnoxious children's books with the noise-making buttons. You know the sort, where the stories are short and sweet and oftentimes stupid but also very amusing to the young (and young at heart)... where some of the words are replaced with pictures that match pictures on the buttons on the side of the book, and you are intended to push the button at the moment that the book tells you to? Alright, I'll shut up, enjoy

This is the manliest sound you may ever hear.

If you're completely lost, head on over to Youtube and search for the Old Spice commercials. Unless of course you have stupid internet that blocks Youtube and Tumblr because of porn, like ours does. Seriously? Porn? You would really have to go out of your way to find porn on Youtube and Tumblr. Anywho, where was I? Oh yes. Old Spice.
Grant's roommate Scott sports this little jingle as his ringtone. We'll all just be hanging out, talking about who knows what, then suddenly you'll hear:

It's gotten to the point where it's hardly noticed anymore, except by the subconscious minds of the individuals in the room. People will walk in and out of the room whistling this jingle.
The new rule is, however, that if the jingle plays during a period of silence, the last phrase that was said is automatically deemed "manly."
I mean, you could say something like,


And then Scott will get a text message.

...It tends to be quite humorous. Scott, in all of his generosity, shared this splendid treasure of a ringtone with me so I, too, may enjoy the benefits of having it.
The manly rule also applies to manly situations.
For instance, just today I received a text message that read:


...And just as I finished reading the above text message I hear:

Sometimes it applies to situations where no words whatsoever are necessary.
Like when you look up and you see your friend doing this...

Or when you're in class and you hear this...

Or when it's only you and your fifteen-year-old brother at home and you walk into your empty living room to find TiVo paused on this...

...at which moment most normal people would begin to laugh uncontrollably.
...Well, if normal is defined as me, Grant, and his roommates Scott, Ethan and Matt.
Well, sometimes Ethan.

Just for future reference

Hi, I'm Alexa. This is me.


Some call me Lex. Some call me Lexers. A select few call me Arexa. I also answer to catcalls and the word "chocolate." I'm 20 years old and I live in sunny St. George, Utah.
This is my life.
This is Notboyfriend.



I call him that because sometimes I slip and call him Boyfriend. And we haven't had the "DTR" yet so technically, he's not my boyfriend. Hence his name, Notboyfriend.

I have lots of best friends.


I like them, so I keep them around.

These are my roommates.


We used to have another one, but we didn't like her. I mean, She didn't like us. I mean. We ate her.


And last but not least, my family.
My mom is a single mother with me and a four year old boy.


My mom is my best friend in the whole wide world.
This is my fairly recent ex-stepdad. Although he is no longer entirely relevant in my life, my poor, dear mother still has to deal with him for another sixteen years or so. That poor woman.



My parents split when I was three. My dad remarried when I was eight and he has three kids besides me. My stepmom's name is Kristin but I call her Kwiden. Don't ask me why. You can call her that too, if you'd like. All of my friends do, even my mom and my mom's mom call her that.


And I think that's just about everyone. Now that that's out of the way, let the stories begin. Put on your seatbelts, everyone, my life is one hell of a ride.

so, say hypothetically

So I have this friend...
She's having a really tough time right now. See, she likes this boy.
Let me back up.
Once upon a time...
Well my friend has been best friends with this girl for a year.



Her best friend dated this guy for a minute. It didn't really work out, but her best friend is still really attracted to him and still kind of has a thing for him.


Fast forward a few months.
My friend's best friend still kinda likes this guy. But she's done some dating since her thing with the guy in question, and she currently 1) kind of has a boyfriend thing, 2) has a missionary that just got home and 3) has a missionary still out serving. The girl has enough on her plate, man-wise.



So, my friend, the main character of this story, just got home from a summer internship on the East Coast. She hasn't kissed a boy since August and she is going nuts, being as it is currently November. My friend had a very action-packed summer and on average kissed two different boys goodnight every night.
She is dying for action.



My friend is an actress, studying theatre. Her close friend Alex is taking a directing class, and he needed an actor and an actress to star in a short romantic scene for a directing project of his. The catch, however, is that the scene included a fairly romantic and semi-passionate stage kiss. My friend gladly volunteered, as did her best friend's ex.
Well they ended up kissing. In the scene, of course. And it was fantastic. At least, that's what she told me.



The two of them worked together on this scene with Alex for a few days, slowly starting to get to know each other, slowly becoming friends, flirting, and even hanging out a little bit.
So my friend texts her best friend to see if it was cool with her if she had a ncmo-- a non-commital-make-out-- with the guy. And her friend said it was okay... but there was an underlying awkward feeling lurking about the text messages.



My friend also mentioned to her best friend that she wasn't sure if the boy was her type and that she was still kind of heartbroken after her last boyfriend situation. My friend assured her BFF that she was definitely not ready for a boyfriend right at that moment. Regardless, my friend continued on flirting and talking to the boy.



As time goes on, however, my friend begins to notice what an incredible person this guy is. He sings, he acts, he plays guitar, he's an eagle scout, a return missionary, speaks fluent spanish... completed the bronze, silver and gold venturing scout programs, and on top of all else, he is HILARIOUS. This boy can make my friend laugh for hours on end. They are always entertained by each other. She feels like she's known him for a much longer time than she really has. And what else is so great about him is this: he's not perfect, nor does he try to put on the facade and pretend to be. He doesn't shove his religion down the throats of everyone around him. OH- and he's handsome. Very, very handsome. I would know, I've seen him.



So things are looking like they're going to be pretty awesome until she realizes, Oh shit. Best friend is going to KILL me.
See, in the past, her best friend has informed her that all of her ex-best friends were indeed her ex-best friends because they were always out to steal her man. And my friend is afraid she'll think she's doing just that.



So that's my dilemma-- er, HER dilemma...
My friend left her East Coast internship early because of a priesthood blessing she'd received from one of her few LDS friends back east. She knew that Florida wasn't the right place for her because she wasn't surrounding herself with good people. She knew that she needed to get back to a place where she could be safe for a while whilst she figured herself out. She knew there was a bigger reason that she moved back to Utah. She says she hasn't found it yet.
After discussing a few church matters with him, a lot of things make sense. Maybe this boy is just what she needs. Maybe he was put into her life to gently nudge her back onto the right path. Who knows? But I don't blame her for not wanting to let this opportunity pass her by.
She really likes him and he likes her too. And she told me that they kissed last night, and it wasn't like, a stage kiss like it was before... And it was nice. After they kissed he pulled away and said, "I feel like I've kissed you before."
They've put it on ice until they can figure out how to handle the Best friend situation.

As I'm sure you all guessed, my friend is really me. And I feel like I'm screwed. And I'm ready to hit someone. Does anyone have any suggestions?



**CORRECTION: Apparently Best friend and guy never technically "dated," held hands and he isn't technically her "ex." just clarifying. Sorry if any of the above information is incorrect. :P